Dating someone who has had an abortion

This fear keeps them from being fully open and giving themselves completely, and this fear manifests itself by impacting intimacy in the relationship, both sexually and emotionally. This “thing called abortion” that occurred before we even met has had more of an affect on our marriage relationship than anything else. Telling a potential spouse about an abortion is frightening, and the fear of withdrawal of love often causes people to keep their secret hidden.One husband who learned about his wife’s abortion wrote: It was not until we had been married a little over two years that I discovered that little secret that remained hidden. I remember being a little shocked; well, maybe more than a little. Because, you see, I never realized how much it would matter. …You may say, “This is all well and good, but what does this have to do with you, a husband who took no part in her abortion? The disclosure of a past abortion can rightfully trigger many feelings and behaviors in the relationship. As we began to date, I was starved for the love I felt Art offered, and dove completely into the relationship. So one night soon after my discovery, I broke the news to him.

Perhaps one of the most difficult calls I have received in our ministry was from a man who was about to be married.I often ask, “You didn’t see this before you were married?” Then she’ll tell me, “Yes, but I thought I could change him.” I think a lot of people are not being totally honest during the dating process.In the sacrament of marriage, couples promise to love one another “for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish ...” “For better or for worse” would seem to include the ugliness of our sins.In making this commitment, we are free to be our true selves and to learn and grow in the love of God, trusting that the other person will always be there for us — even when, in our human weakness, we fail.

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My hands shaking, I grabbed my phone and quickly Googled “faint line, pregnancy test,” which resulted in pages of infertility blogs with posts screaming “I had a really faint pregnancy test and now I have a beautiful 1-year old.” Now in full panic mode, I drove back to the Walgreens I had just left an hour before, cursing myself for buying the cheapest, generic pregnancy test I could find, and purchased two additional (more expensive) tests, both of which confirmed what I already knew in my gut: I was pregnant.

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